March 07, 2009

Wow, I haven't been on for a while.

Like practically a year.

The last time I was on here, I was waiting for my crush. It finally did happen on March 20, 2008. I was really happy. Two months after we got together, it was the best. I had the best smiles, laughs, and fun memories. Then six months, we got into little arguements every single day. The next couple of months were difficult, really difficult. I couldn't take it any longer, it felt like he didn't love me after all. Everyone was supporting me and him.
Sadly, he was telling me how my friends are choosing sides. It isn't like that. My friends want both of us happy no matter what happened to us. It felt like he wanted people to choose his side.
I know I've done wrong, but doesn't mean that you have to tell everyone that talks to you about it.
I'm really hurting and I know your hurting too, but did you ever consider my feelings when we were going out.
Throughout the six months we were arguing it was always because of what I did. Okay, I'm technically slow and not that smart but he always says, 'Your dumb.' 'Don't you get it?' These words really hurt me, but he says sorry after. But then he says it over and over again. He doesn't like some of my guy friends. But he'll have to live with it because I love my friends to death and I don't want to lose anyone because of one person. This really hurted me for months.
He swears alot at me and calls me names and he knows that I don't like that. But it always keeps coming.
Our last month together.. it was hectic. He told something he wasn't suppose to tell. It was my secret. He told my friends and they asked me if it was true. I couldn't lie. I cried every day because of this. He kept talking about it. All of my friends are annoyed because of him saying this stuff. It was private. My privacy.
Everyone says its not worth it. What can I do...
Nowadays, he's avoiding me, and I feel he doesn' t like me the same way anymore. I still miss him. I look at him every day. Seeing his smile on other girls faces, laughing. It definitely hurts. But I know what to do now...

Move on...